


This Time

by fluff_in_london



Series: Albus and Gellert One Shots Based on Quotes [8]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bathilda ships it, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Depression, Falling In Love, Healing, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Young Albus Dumbledore, Young Gellert Grindelwald
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 07:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19102486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluff_in_london/pseuds/fluff_in_london
Summary: Albus has tried to kill himself twelve times already.Gellert commits self-harm almost every day.Both are depressed, and just want to leave. But a set up by Bathilda may just change these two young gays' lives.





	This Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlbusGellertAlways](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlbusGellertAlways/gifts).



> So, Beautiful English wasn't a hit. Okay, that's cool. It was a rush and I understand that. But what I need from you now is constructive criticism about how to fix/change it. Comment and tell me!!
> 
> This fic is one I've thought about for a while now, so I hope you think it's good. I'm sorry for not writing more, or posting more regularly, but I have a separate account (because I share this with my best friend) dedicated to some of my other fandoms, and I post stuff there too. Also, since Beautiful English, I just can't seem to pick up an idea. I'm in a haze, unable to confidently write (I may have mentioned that I'm very unconfident in my abilities at writing). Hopefully this gets me out of my ditch...

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~ Oscar Wilde

 

Albus has tried to die twelve times. Three are from combination of stress from school and the avoidance he got because of his father. The other nine are from the weight and meaningless of his ruined life. 

All twelve times, he failed. Either a professor stopped him, Bathilda, or he just backed out. 

But this time, Albus thinks, it'll go through. It'll work this time. He will be out of here, gone from all the pain and stress and wasted potential. From all the insults Aberforth throws at him, the glances and glares he gets in the village, the obvious hatred and unlove in the house. It's got to work. 

 

Gellert has cut himself every day. For being a failure. For the lust running in his veins. For being so emotional. For being an idiot. For making mistakes. For trusting anyone. For being weak. 

His father used to do it to Gellert. Though it was whips and belts instead of blades.

After Gellert got old enough to stop his father from doing it, he found it had actually kept himself clear-headed and focused. So he did it to himself. Daily. In his room, in the bathroom, in the basement. Before bed, after breakfast, at midnight. Any time of day, wherever he is whenever he needs to. 

~✧~

"Albus should be here any minute now," Tante Bathilda says, bustling about, organizing her tea things. 

"I don't understand why you invited him. I'm fine on my own," Gellert comments, sitting in his already favorite chair. Really, it didn't take him that long to fall in love with the beautiful chair. One tea sit-in and he's claimed it as his. 

"Well, Albus is a special boy, and I know he needs a friend, which you do too. Don't argue with me on this!" she warns, seeing Gellert start to protest. "Anyway, the poor boy has lost his father and mother, along with his freedom. I try, but I know I'm not what he really needs."

"And suddenly I am?" Gellert protests.

Tante Bathilda raises one eyebrow at Gellert. "Yes," she answers. "Yes, Gellert, you are exactly what he needs. He needs an intelligent, charming, daring boy his age."

Gellert blinks. "Why charming?"

She smiles. "To get him to leave that blasted house of his of course!"

Someone, presumably Albus, knocks on the door. 

"Come in!" Tante Bathilda calls, walking to the kitchen. 

The door opens and a beautiful man walks in. "Professor?"

"Albus! Come in and sit down, I'll be out in a moment," Tante says from the kitchen. 

Albus sits down next to Gellert and both relaxes and tenses up. "Hello," Albus says, holding his hand out. "I'm Albus Dumbledore."

"Gellert Grindelwald," Gellert responds, grasping the outstretched hand. They shake, and  _something_ passes between them, a feeling of unity. Albus glances down at their joined hands to Gellert's face. Brilliant blue eyes containing the same haunted look Gellert sees when he looks into the mirror connect with his. 

"Now then," Tante Bathilda says, bustling in with the tea. The two boys quickly let go of each other's hand, glancing away from each other. "Albus, my grand-nephew Gellert. Gellert, Albus."

"Hello," Gellert says, slyly smiling at Albus.

"Good to meet you," Albus says, a small smile flitting across his face.

"Well, I'll leave you two boys to talk," Tante says before abruptly leaving the room. 

~✧~

Albus sighs. Today had been a good day. He had meet Gellert, and he seemed interested in becoming friends. Not to mention that Gellert's bloody brilliant and believes in the Deathly Hallows. Now he's left staring at the night sky, considering his options. Get out now, or hang on and see what happens? 

Gellert is so unlike his friends from Hogwarts; brilliant, charming, a bit of an ego, and adventurous. He also can see that change needs to happen otherwise the wizarding world is done for. It doesn't help that he's gorgeous and flirtatious.

Maybe . . . maybe he'll hang on for a day more. Give Gellert a chance. Give life another chance.

~~~

Gellert gazes up at the sky. Today was not the what he expected it to be. No yelling at him, telling him how worthless he is. No looks telling him what a thousand words could say. Just a boy. A beautiful, intelligent, caring, honest boy. A boy who sees past the lies and falsehoods the world seems to bath in daily. A boy he never wants to part from. A boy . . . who will never accept who Gellert is.

Almost gently, he makes neat, precise cuts along his inner arm. He barely winces at the pain. After all, he deserves it. He deserves the pain, will always deserve it. Who is he to believe, to even imagine he might find some scrap of love, the type he yearns for?

He's nothing, that's what! He's nothing, and he deserves nothing. All he will be is nothing and it's a miracle Bathilda hasn't thrown him out yet.

The stars start to dim, and suddenly go out. 

Gellert stands, confused and unnerved. 

The walls around him disappear into thick black fog. 

He whirls around, looking for anything that may be causing this.

Quickly, the floor disappears, replaced with the black fog. 

Gellert's trapped, surrounded by black fog. It's all around him, underneath him, above him. It's everywhere and nowhere and what's going on what's happening why is it closing in why-

Gellert is pushed into a vision. 

Himself, at least twenty years older, going around destroying muggle villages. Himself, murdering thousands. Himself, taking on the appearance of a English Auror. Himself, tracking an obscurus and sentencing two young people to death, along with innocent magical beasts. Himself, back to looking like his older self, captured by American Aurors. Himself, changing places with a follower of his. Himself, murdering children. Himself, leading a young man to find out his parentage that is all fake. Himself, at a rally. Himself, confronting Aurors and some people he had seen before his capture. Himself, facing off against an older Albus. Himself and Albus in love but fighting each other because Gellert had murdered millions of innocents. Himself purposefully losing to Albus because no matter how people he has killed, he will never have the strength to kill Albus. Himself, locked up for the rest of his life, away from all face to face human interaction. Himself, facing Voldemort down, taking death instead of betraying Albus again. 

Gellert gasps for air, back in his room at Tante Bathilda's home, the stars shining into his room through the window, the walls around him once again, the ceiling above him, the floor beneath him. 

A familiar voice,  _his voice_ , whispers into the night air. "Stay with him. Albus is our star; never stray from his light. He can change our future."

~✧~

"Albus?" Gellert asks him, about a month after they first met.

"Yes?" Albus replies, not moving from Gellert's lap as he turns the page in his latest book.

"If . . . If someone had found a spell that would bind two people together forever, one that could never be broken on pain of death, one that would prevent them from harming each other with magic, what would you say about that person using it to unite themselves with another person they were hopelessly in love with and whom they wished desperately to marry, but rules forbid their pairing so they viewed the spell as their way to marry?"

Albus blinks, then slowly sits up, sliding up against Gellert's side. "Well, I would say that it's a bit rash, however I know that if the opportunity presented itself to me, I would definitely try to do the same thing," he answers slowly. He can feel Gellert glancing at Albus, trying to read into what he had just said. 

"What do you mean?" Gellert asks softly.

"I mean," Albus replies, turning his head and gazing into Gellert's captivating eyes, "I mean that I love you Gellert Grindelwald and if I could bind our souls together so we could forever belong to each other then I most definitely would, without a thought, without a worry. I would choose you over all others, again and again, because you understand me, complete me. Because when you look at me," Albus's voice cracks a little with emotion on that last bit. "When you look at me," a tear trails down Albus's cheek. "When you look at me, you see me. You see me with my faults, with my talents, with my quirks and obsessions. You see me, without any lies, completely open, and you come back. You see me as myself, not a failure, not a perfect saint, not something I most definitely am not. You simply see me as me." He chokes back a sob and continues. "I've tried to kill myself, end it all, but then you came into my life and suddenly it wasn't as bad. I may never want to live for myself, but I want to live for you. I wake up in the morning and know that no matter how much this day throws at me, I have a reason to live, and he doesn't ask anything of me. That person is you, Gellert. You are my reason to live. And you always will be."

~✧~

They collapse next to each other, their magic mixing and whirling above them, left over magic from the pact. 

They had done it. They had made a pact. 

 _"I, Gellert Grindelwald, swear to you, Albus Dumbledore, that I will always love you, forever and ever, through life, past death, and into the unknown. Because you are my light, my star, my everything. I swear, I will never fight nor try to harm you. No matter what comes our way, I will always be by your side, for better or worse._ _"_

The pact lies between the two men, two drops of blood swirling around each other, forming complex patterns. 

 _"I, Albus Dumbledore, swear to you, Gellert Grindelwald, that life and death will hold nothing over my love for you. My love will endure forever, never wavering, because you are all I need, and have needed, to live. You keep me grounded, give me a reason._ _I swear, I will never fight nor harm you. No matter what happens, I will forever be at your side."_

 

"I love you," they whisper to each other, fingers entwining, their gaze moving from the magic to the star next to them. 

Gellert's face, painted beautiful blues and purples, glowing with love and joy.

Albus's face, colored bright orange and gold, a smile gracing the beautiful boy.

~✧~

An excerpt from a Hogwarts textbook:

 

> " _And on July 8th, 1899, Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald created a blood pact. Later that year, Ariana Dumbledore, later admitted as an obscurus, died from a spell from a three-way duel between Aberforth Dumbledore, Albus, and Gellert. No one has said who fired the spell, and as Albus puts it, "It would break any of us to know who killed her"._
> 
> _During her funeral, Aberforth punched Albus's nose, breaking it. Gellert is said to have simply healed Albus's nose and continue his speech, though Aberforth claims, quite fondly, that he had punched Gellert once as well, in the arm. Shortly after the funeral, Aberforth went back to Hogwarts while Albus and Gellert started to put their plan into action._
> 
> _After four years, nothing was working and both decided to change careers, saying "we went with teaching, because children are our future and if this world is going to change they must become that change". Albus became the Transfiguration teacher, while Gellert became the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts._
> 
> _They quickly became the best loved teachers at the school, known for their passion for magic and dedication to the students. As one student put it, "I was hated by every student, every teacher except them. They never played favorites, but I knew they had my back ... Once, Professor Grindelwald pulled me aside and asked what was haunting me. I don't know how they knew, but they always seemed to know when students were having a bad day or when a student came with demons"._
> 
> _When Vinda Rosier started her murder spree of muggles, claiming that the master race must stamp out the inferior, the professors took action. Their contacts and friends all across the world rallied against Rosier, pushing the Ministry into action._
> 
> _In 1926, Rosier was captured by the United States Ministry in New York. It was revealed that Rosier had been trying to lure in a teenage obscurus and Newt_ _Scamander, Tina Goldstein, Queenie Goldstein, and Jacob Kowalski had tried to stop_ _her. The American Ministry, however, misleadingly thought the obscurus was causing the destruction that Rosier made, and killed the obscurus before Rosier revealed herself._
> 
> _It was soon discovered, after a year, that the obscurus had survived and was living in Paris. Meanwhile, Rosier escaped from prison and also went to Paris, gathering followers. It was at this point that Albus and Gellert went onto vacation time and headed for Paris._
> 
> _Once in Paris, the two met up with Newt, who had been one of their students. Newt was with Queenie, Jacob, and Tina, all of which were trying to get Queenie and Jacob's marriage approved, as Jacob was a muggle and Queenie a witch. As the group had started to connect with Credence, the obscurus, Albus and Gellert sent them to protect him from Rosier. Then they went after Rosier._
> 
> _It was a long battle, but they defeated Rosier and she was locked up for the rest of her life._
> 
> _A few months after that, the two professors campaigned for muggle and wizard marriage rights. Surprisingly, they also championed gay marriage. Both marriage laws passed, and were spread throughout the wizarding world. Two days after the passing of the law, Albus and Gellert got married, surrounded by their friends and students._
> 
> _Many years later, they became co-headmasters, as they are equal fighters, and equally respected teachers. They still are Headmasters, as of 1991."_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy (late) Fourth of July, United States readers!
> 
> So, what do you think of this? Comment and tell me what you think! Also, if you have an idea for a one-shot you want me to write, I'm open to suggestions! I'm branching out and want to try one-shots without a base quote, so if you have an idea you want me to try, I'd love to hear it!


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